Knowidea

Birthdays are a special time, and on someone’s birthday, you should let them know how special you think that they are... by kidnapping them.

Sure, you could get them a nice present all wrapped up in pretty paper and bows, but last time I check, that’s what everybody does. Instead you should get a few friends together, buy some black clothing and ski masks, and commit a pseudo-felony. You need to make sure that you grab them when they are either sleeping or alone and distracted. Seeing your car or even body type could give you away.

After you nab them, make sure to say make crude, creepy, or threatening remarks like "you sure do smell purty. Purtier than that last one we nabbed, she been stinkin’ up the whole damn basement since she gone and died last week." Etc.

Then, just when they think there’s no hope, place them in a room with all of your friends, rip their blindfold off, and yell "SURPRISE!" They’ll love it.

And don’t forget to bring them a change of underwear, they may need it.